


To Lose is to Find

by Taliax



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AkuSai Day 2012, Friendship, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2018-01-17 12:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1386895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taliax/pseuds/Taliax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To find is to lose, and to lose is to find. Maybe that was true in more places than Castle Oblivion...</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Lose is to Find

_To find is to lose, and to lose is to find._

Marluxia had repeated those words countless times during Axel’s stay at Castle Oblivion. Only now did the Flurry of Dancing Flames think the statement could apply to more than Sora’s unstable memories.

_We’ve fought to find our hearts, our selves… and we’ve lost even more._

Saïx was the first thought that came to mind; how devoted he’d become to seeking Kingdom Hearts and becoming whole, so much so that he put all his effort into rising through the Organization’s ranks. Axel had helped him, as any best friend would. And for all his work Saïx only seemed to grow more and more distant.

_“Hey, Saï, wanna get some ice cream? I found the best spot to hang out when I was on recon today. There’s this huge clocktower, you can see the whole world from there.”_

_“I have mission reports to catalogue. We have no time for luxuries such as ice cream, which we cannot even truly enjoy.”_

Day in and day out, Axel asked the same question. At first Saïx would occasionally accept just to satisfy Axel, but slowly his ambition pulled him farther away until he told Axel not to bother asking. So he sat alone, eating ice cream that had lost its sweetness.

Roxas and Xion changed that. They changed _him._ Somehow, he grew to care for them… until he cared for their lives more than his own. Kingdom Hearts wasn’t that important, because they made him feel like he had a heart already.

_I stopped caring so much about myself… and I found myself._

He still couldn’t get over the irony of it, but he wouldn’t complain. Now, if only Saïx would listen to him… He could be so stubborn. And selfish. Axel had been that way too, before Roxas and Xion. If he could change, so could Saïx. He wouldn’t give up on his friend.

_To find is to lose, and to lose is to find…_

Saïx, who tried to find himself only to lose himself to darkness.

Axel, who lost himself for his friends, only to find a new heart and a new self.

One day, Axel would make Saïx get this lesson memorized.

_“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it, but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.”_

_~Luke 9:24~_


End file.
